We got into bed; you looked lovely as you always do,
And it broke my heart every time you looked at me,
We spent the evening together, and I wouldn’t have been anywhere else,
Except with you, and you surprised me as you always do,
Looking into your face when you weren’t looking, and despite myself,
Despite what I should think, I thought you were beautiful,
With your feline eyes, your blessed smile and the way you are.
We got into bed later, or rather I did, I got changed, ready,
And slipped between the sheets, and watched you come back to me,
Into my room, as the moon shone through the window,
You were dressed simply, not extravagant, no corset,
But even more beautiful for it,
As it was just you, and you have no need of anything to make yourself you.
You sat on the edge of my bed, perched like an exquisite flower,
With all your bags open, like petals, everywhere, as you always do,
Shuffling and putting balm on your lips, anointing what I wanted to kiss,
But couldn’t, as now we were simply friends,
And you slid under the shroud of a sheet with me, next to me.
I lay there, as you smelt divine, your ebony hair splayed wide, your body close,
In bed together, but not touching, and I heard your breath, rise and fall,
And wanted to turn to you, to face you, to embrace you,
To kiss you, to touch and feel, to share the night and stars with you.
But no, I lay there, lying next to you, just wanting to hold you,
To wrap my arms around you, to kiss the freckles down your back,
And pull you close to me.
And all night I lay there, watching you, protecting you, and listening to you sleep,
Unable to hold you, unable to hold you, unable to hold you,
Unable to kiss you, to wrap my arms around your hips and softly kiss you lips.
Martin Gaughan
